A mother has described a novel idea developed by her husband and herself to reward their children for good behaviour and to reduce the potential reward if there are instances of bad behaviour. In past years it had been a constant struggle for the parents to cope constructively with the behaviour of their three highly active boys, aged between six and ten.
As an alternative to shouting at the boys or reacting in other stressful ways to their bad behaviour, the parents had tried out a variety of star systems to reward the boys’ good behaviour with stars for tidiness, homework, pacifism, bedtime order and even for showing kindness to someone. Other rewards selected by the parents included visits to the local pizza joint. However all these parent-controlled systems had only a limited appeal and needed constant replacement by new methods to prevent the boys from losing interest.
Points system for recording behaviours They noted the example of family friends, who had successfully introduced a simple points system to measure (and discourage) their own children’s misbehaviours. The mother and her husband decided to develop a more positive recorded points system which would serve to score instances of good behaviour, but could also be used to deduct points for bad behaviour.
A key innovation was that each boy would be free to decide his own reward. Thus one boy wanted a cheap electric guitar. Another boy aimed at a leather jacket and dark glasses. For every goal chosen by a boy, the parents would decide how many points had to be gained for each of the selected rewards. For example, 100 points needed to be accumulated in order for the parents to buy the child his chosen gift of an electric guitar - although losing points for bad behaviour (such as a failure to do homework) could delay the attainment of that reward.
All kinds of positive behaviour were rewarded - such as showing an unexpected kindness to someone, or even playing an enjoyable prank on an appreciative relative.
System needs regular brief updating The author stressed the need to maintain this system daily, rather than fitfully when it suited the parents. Every evening the mother and father sit down briefly to consider each child’s day and allocate points, with the boys being told of their totals when they wake up the next day and demand to know their latest point levels.
Following the success of this method of behaviour management two fathers have set up an imaginative and colourful programme www.kidspoints.co.uk, which the author described as the first reward system for children and parents available online and via mobile phone. Although the online programme is free, the mother says that she and her husband are happy with their own scribbled notes of detailed scores which now cover the fridge door.
Ref. empowerment 008, ECDC. Source: Candida Crewe (Sunday Telegraph, 2.11.08)
Copyright: ECDC/PCEO Bristol UK 2008
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